I was a follower back then as a kid, obedient and respectful. I took up worship after leaving my family home and taking up a career upon completing my college studies. Actually, it was to fill my time or rather kill my time after work. I used to worship at dawn and dusk and visit the temples in the vicinity. I made friends with others and their families and began to see the troubles they went through. I began to question God if it was justified to just sit and watch them suffer. Wasn't a God who is said to be compassionate supposed to save his devotees and keep them from harm's way? Seeing my mind in turmoil Lord Shiva came in a dream in 1988 and told me to shelve all my questions to a later date. I got the answer to their sufferings when I saw the Nadi after 14 years in 2002 where Agathiyar opened up about Karma and its effects mentioning that I too had brought with me the baggage. He gave me remedies to help unload the baggage. Three years into the first reading all doors opened up mysteriously. With the coming of my guru Supramania Swami of Tiruvannamalai who merited me his entire 40 years of Tavam or austerities it skyrocketed me up the ladder as in the game of snake and ladder. As I took up the call to come to the worship of the Siddhas in the Nadi and inherited "the cash deposit" that I received from my guru, my second guru whom I met in 2005 told me that he was surprised that I had made it this far unscathed and hurt. Taking up his teachings in the absence of Supramania Swami then, I was shown Agathiyar officially. Traveling the journey carrying out rituals and Yoga that Tavayogi taught us, Agathiyar came to add to the Gnanam that we received from him. On Wednesday he asked us to even drop that too adding to the long list of gifts and treasures Agathiyar gifted us and had us drop later. He tells us that all these were booby traps laid out on the path to trap us and keep us in the clutches of Maya further. It is all his divine play.
Agathiyar asks us to quit investigating into his origin and stop singing his praises and wonders but instead wants us to investigate our souls. Prod the soul and come to know it, he asks. I was surprised when a staunch devotee of a saint who lived some 353 years ago, uttered Agathiyar's mantra when Agathiyar asked what mantra was going on in him. I was expecting him to recite his guru's name and mantra. I believe his soul replied then. In coming before us Agathiyar always addresses our souls. But we misunderstand and think he is asking the name and form that we believe is us. We come before him asking for favors and seek boons that bring on pleasures and comfort. We let him know our worldly desires, which he time and again reminds us to drop. But yet he gives his blessings. But one must remember to face the consequences of our asking, either way, whether it does us good or harm later, alone.
If we had our parents and grandparents to guide us in the beginning and teachers later, for those seeking to know themselves, the gurus come along. But Agathiyar tells us that like other gurus he is only there to show us the way. He does not produce the results for us. We have to strive and work to accomplish the results.
Just as we keep our homes clean and tidy, he asked that we keep our body, mind, and thoughts pure. This would suffice.